Another Year Older & Angrier

Have you ever noticed that as the years go by, your tolerance for life's little annoyances seems to shrink? Join me as we unpack this common thread many of us encounter: growing irritability. In this episode of Mental Health-ish, we talk about anger and its unexpected role in personal growth. 

This episode invites you to reflect on the emotional patterns you've been noticing and what they might be trying to teach you. By sitting with our feelings without judgment, we can create a more compassionate relationship with ourselves. 

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast laun
Have you ever wanted to start your own podcast? Start for FREE Buzzsprout using this link. 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:10

Hi everyone, welcome back to Mental Health-ish. It's been a while since I recorded, but if you're listening to this now, I appreciate you being here. And I mean, life is life and so I figured I'll just kind of record whenever I get a chance to and just kind of share some of the life lessons and just kind of themes life themes that I've been experiencing and I've been noticing a lot like have any of you guys noticed that as you've gotten older, you've gotten angrier, or is that just me? Like, as you've gotten older, like things just annoy you more. You're kind of like you don't have time for the crap, I guess you could say, and so I don't know, is that just me? But anywho, that's part of the theme that I wanted to discuss today is, I was talking with.

Speaker 1: 1:11

I've been talking to a therapist, you know, for the past two months now and we've done a lot of really good work and I feel like just a little side note, I feel like a little bit of heaviness has been lifted off of me and stuff like that. But one of the things that she asked me the other day was and one of the things that she asked me the other day was how do you think? What do you think is the right way to manage anger, like when you're feeling angry or upset about something, what is the proper way? Right in feeling calm, being calm, cool, collected, you know, remaining calm, being able to understand the other person's perspective, like if you're arguing with someone, like being able to keep an open mind and listen, like listen to what the other person has to say, you know being able to have a conversation, just be calm, that type of stuff. And she said something really interesting to me that I hadn't thought about. She said, you know, sometimes it's okay to be angry. You don't have to be calm, cool and collected all the time. And she described feeling angry as kind of like a I don't want to say like animalistic, but just kind of like it's human. You're human, you know, and you're going to experience all of these crazy different emotions every day, and anger is one of them. Like you're going to be angry about certain things and it's okay, you know. And so she told me sometimes it's okay to be angry and it's okay to not be calm, cool and collected. It's okay to want to scream, it's okay to want to, like, you know, punch a pillow or hit something right, like that's okay, like it's okay to express feelings, it's okay to feel these things.

Speaker 1: 3:20

And I think that's kind of been the theme that I've been hearing a lot or like just kind of picking up on a lot lately, is being able to express your feelings and sit with your feelings and not feeling ashamed about it. And that kind of reminded me, and when I'm talking about themes, I want you guys to notice, like throughout the week or even month, whatever, but what are like themes that stick out to you a lot, that just kind of keep sticking out to you, and so for me it has been this right, like just anger, like feeling your feelings it's okay, like sitting with your feelings, like that's something that keeps coming up a lot in things like whether it be like I'm scrolling on social media and I read something about it. I'm talking about it with my therapist, so, yeah, like if you're able to in your own life, like kind of just think about it, like what are some themes that have been kind of thrown at you lately, or what have you been picking up, and then kind of just like, what is it trying to teach you, you know, from those themes that you guys are able to pick up, just kind of think about what is this trying to teach me, what is this trying to show me? So, anywho, so I was scrolling on threads. So threads is part of Instagram, so it it's kind of, if you don't have it, it's kind of like Twitter, so a lot of people post, you know, like written things or whatnot written posts. So the app is called Threads.

Speaker 1: 4:58

I've been on Threads a lot lately and just kind of reading through things and for some reason my algorithm has been on Threads, has been stuck on dating. Even though I'm not dating right now or anything, my threads it's kind of stuck in that algorithm. So I see a lot of posts of people's like dates, of how you know dating experiences, just weird posts like that. But, anywho, one of the posts that I bumped into recently this week again with the theme right, it was a guy that said a guy posted on his threads.

Speaker 1: 5:40

My therapist told me that I should sit with my feelings, and so he said he was talking to his therapist about dating and how he feels rejected a lot, and so his therapist recommended to him that he should sit in his feelings, and so his feeling in that moment was rejection. So he started asking people online on threads does anyone want to reject me? So that I could feel rejected for about an hour or two. So you know, I just want to sit in my feelings, right and just feel rejected for an hour. You know, I just want to sit in my feelings right and just feel rejected for an hour. And I thought that was so funny because I was like that's not how it works and I'm pretty sure that's not what she meant when she said sit with your feelings or sit in your feelings.

Speaker 1: 6:29

So, anyways, I wanted to share with you guys what sitting with your feelings actually means and what it could kind of look like for you and for me, because that's something that we're all practicing, right, and so yeah, so sitting with your feelings means allowing yourself to fully experience your emotions without judgment or distraction. And when I'm saying without judgment, it's like without that self-judgment, right, that we were so hard on ourselves. So that was one of the things in my example that I mentioned, right, feeling angry. So if I'm feeling angry about something, not judging myself because I'm feeling that way, so not telling myself okay, you shouldn't be feeling angry, you should be calm, cool, collected, you know you should be calm. So that's what I'm talking about with judgment a little bit, and distraction, obviously. So in my situation, like if I'm feeling angry not trying to avoid it, not trying to, you know, push it under the rug.

Speaker 1: 7:41

So sitting with your feelings involves taking the time to understand what you're feeling and why you're feeling this way, instead of trying to avoid those feelings. So this practice can help you gain insight into your emotional state, increase your self-awareness and it can also help with healing. So, when you guys think about it, if we're feeling angry about something and we're just pushing it under the rug, there's only so much like hiding of the emotion that you could do before you're going to blow up. Or like, if you're having an argument with someone, right, if something's making you upset and you're just kind of pushing it under the rug, you're going to blow up. Or like, if you're having an argument with someone, right, if something's making you upset and you're just kind of pushing it under the rug, over time you're going to start building resentment towards that person, right? So definitely it's a practice to where you don't want to ignore or kind of just put those feelings aside for so long. Ignore or kind of just put those feelings aside for so long, which is what a lot of us tend to do and which is what a lot of us were taught right growing up. It's like don't show any emotion, don't cry. Why are you angry? Like don't do that. So it's definitely something that can be hard to break, but it's doable. So what does that look like?

Speaker 1: 9:01

Sitting with your feelings can include mindfulness techniques such as like just sitting, still taking some deep breaths, meditation or simply being present in the moment, which can help you explore your feelings in a safe and compassionate way. So, being present in the moment, right, like no distractions, no phone, maybe, just kind of sitting there, really acknowledging the feeling that you're feeling, like how you're feeling, so like angry right, for example, and where in your body you're feeling it? Am I feeling it? On my arms, my legs, my face, my chest right, my heart, my heart's pounding, so wherever you're feeling that emotion in your body, and just kind of being present, just letting yourself feel that, just literally letting yourself feel that present, just letting yourself feel that, just literally letting yourself feel that, taking a few deep breaths, right, and just acknowledging it instead of, just like I said, pushing it under the rug and just like trying to move forward and, like you know, being calm, like, yeah, like over over time, it's just it's just not healthy and it's just gonna you're gonna erupt like a volcano, right, and so that's one of the things that I've been or I will be practicing, and so if this kind of resonated with you, let me know. Let me know if you can relate, if there's something that you've been kind of sweeping under the rug, an emotion, what that emotion is for you. You've been kind of sweeping under the rug and emotion, what that emotion is for you, and hopefully you're able to just take a few minutes to just sit down and just feel what you're feeling, without any judgment, without being too hard on yourself. And so, yeah, let me know. Let me know how it works for you, how you feel. I will be practicing this, but I just thought I wanted to share this theme that just kind of kept coming up for me the past two weeks and, yeah, we'll see what the next theme is that comes up, other than that man.

Speaker 1: 11:15

I feel like I've just been working right story of my life and just been working a lot, really trying to be more present with Emma and do things with her. We've been going to Disney a lot. I just renewed our passes because I really want to take advantage of her being little. I feel like I just have such a limited amount of time left with her, like to with, like her with her, like actually wanting to hang out with me and like go places. She turned eight in September, so I feel like my. You know, I just want to do all the things with her.

Speaker 1: 11:55

I've been doing a lot of YouTube long YouTube videos with the things that we do. So if that's something that you guys want to check out, go ahead and check out my YouTube channel, zappisue1. And I'm sure the link is somewhere. I'll include the link somewhere in the description or the links in my Instagram too, if you follow my Instagram. But anywho, I'm trying to revamp, as usual, the podcast and the blog, and so hopefully I'll be able to blog something soon. So go ahead and check out my old blogs and episodes that I have on the website, mentalhealthishcom. But yeah, if you're listening to this, give me a thumbs up, let me know your thoughts on this theme and, yeah, thank you so much for listening, until next time.